It happened several months ago – On a business video call with several clients and associates, I was listening to the speaker, when I caught a glimpse of my video feed.
OMG! Is that what I look like?
I was interested in the topic, but I looked bored, annoyed, almost angry -It was RBFS (Resting Bitch Face😒 Syndrome). It was awful!
Now more concentrated on my face than the speaker, I kept trying to slowly adjust my expression to a more engaging smile, not TOO BIG, not too small – I felt the corners of my mouth almost twitching, as I tried to hold it in place. I was waiting for someone to ask if I was having a stroke – my face looked so unnatural – forcing to hold a smile made it more of a sneer.
Last week again on a video call I caught myself – aware of my natural smile deficit, I compensated – this time I was moving and shifting I looked animated or maybe animatronic, my eyebrows are moving, my eyes widening, big smile, little smile– WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
This has got to change.
I decided! – Find a way to change my RBF. For months now, I have been trying to not look like an angry wench.
Don’t get me wrong- there are times when my Bitch Face is active and intentional. Let’s face it, some people just deserve it – that person at the grocery store, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, who leaves their empty shopping cart, right in the middle of a parking space, that’s right, they deserve the BF look and that person who’s dog, poops in the middle of the sidewalk and they leave it there because they are too busy on a “very important call,” that’s right, they deserve the BF look too. I just don’t want RBF to be the “Natural” state of my face.
I think a relaxed, happy face is more assuring to people. It evokes confidence and a more positive interaction between parties. I want my “Natural” resting face to look happy and engaged when listening to people but how?
But How…? Practice? Do I have to retrain my face – 1 minute, 3 minutes, 5 minutes at a time? I think it starts with the eyes and happy thoughts make you naturally smile. I need to have more things around me that make me smile just by the mere presence of them. I need smiling, muscle memory.
I starting a Facebook Group for women who suffer from RBFS but never opened it to the public – I think it’s a little odd to put yourself out there so much but maybe that’s what those of us with RBFS need – The idea is; Yes, Yes – Positive Affirmations, Gratitude, Intentional Smiling Challenges and using group video calls to connect/meet with others. Talking/Listening while making a conscious effort to look happy and engaged and calling each other out (No Bullying) when RBFS sneaks in. If you want to challenge or change your RBF,” into Refreshed Beautiful Face- Join Me!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/RBFSIsThatReally/
If you have a friend who should challenge her RBF, please share.
I Hope You Do Not Need This Group😒 BUT if you do, it will be there for you. Goal Turn Resting Bitch Face😒 Into Refreshed Beautiful Face😃.
Dear Diary, I am working on having a Resting Happy Face. I am EXTRAORDINARY!
